As a therapist who works with couples, this is a common scene played out in front of me:

Wife: “I just want him to do things around the house because he wants to.”

Husband: “She could’ve just asked.”

Wife: “But I don’t want to have to ask.”

Husband: “I’m not a mind reader.”

And there it is — that tense volley that ends with someone crying, someone shutting down, and both feeling unseen.

Many couples wait until their relationship is on its last leg and at least one partner has one foot out the door. I get it, couples therapy or couples counseling can sound consequently damaging, but in reality, it can be a very healthy step towards a better relationship. It tends to be a last resort to work on their relationship and then couples wonder why couples therapy sometimes does not help.